Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Christmas Day

Last night we went to midnight mass, it was beautiful. We went up to the Benedictine Monastery. Then we came back down and had snacks with our friends and the Alvarez family. This morning we opened up presents and skyped with some family. Today was a crazy day. We went to two birthday parties and also to a Christmas gathering. Having tropical weather and sweating today made it hard to believe it was Christmas. But today was very blessed.   I'm so thankful to be in missions again.

I hope everyone has a wonderful and blessed Christmas,


Sunday, December 9, 2012

Typhoon Days

I've been going over what happened in my mind, but I still have not come to a ''post worthy'' conclusion.  So I'll just say a little something. On Tuesday the typhoon hit us, kicked off our electricity and left us without water, but besides that we were good. Our new but good friends Kring and Ramon and their two kids came over. We played games, played the guitar and read as the wind and rain battered outside. By that night we had 21 other people in our house.  That made a total of 32 people in our four bedroom house. All I can say is I was so incredibly blessed to share our house, our beds and food with these wonderful people. 

Saturday, December 1, 2012

The End of Nanowrimo 2012

It's ended, and I won again this year! Hooray for me.  4th year of Nano, 2nd time winning. I really liked this year, it was very challenging because I didn't do my normal fantasy story, but in an awesome way.   I've learned that it's not easy to write Historical Fiction when you don't plan.  As an avowed panster the thought of planning makes me shudder, but a little voice has been telling me I should try next year. As you all know I did a historical fiction story about a movie director in the 1930's -1940's.    Last year I came out of Nano disliking my characters and so shut them up in my files of unfinished novels and haven't really looked at it since.  This year I still love my characters, and my story  but I'm ready to put them to rest and let them simmer for a few months.  
This year I somewhat finished!  I saw somewhat because I followed  the story line along till almost 30k (at this moment I can't remember the exact wordcount) and then I came to a wall that I couldn't break.  So I jumped over it, skipped it and wrote the finishing 10,000 words and then had to fit in  10,000 more words.  *sigh* It was hard.  But as you can see I did indeed win.  All's well that ends well.
Currently I'm just resting from writing and looking at some of my unfinished stories. I can't wait to get to work on something else.

Friday, November 30, 2012

We are called to Love

For the past two days I have been reading this book called The Irresistible Revolution.  And then this morning in our Liturgy of the hours we read Romans 12:13-21.  It's something that I've read many many many times before, and it's always been like:
"Yeah, it's a nice reading." And then I forget about it.      But today, it spoke to me an a whole new level. Here's what it says.

 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.  On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
And this reading struck me because this is what we are called to do. Share with those in need. Live in harmony with one another.  It's so easy, and I am guilty of this myself, to simply believe it's just something to read and then forget.  But Paul wrote this to the Romans, telling them this is the way they had to live.   If they had to live it? Why don't we?   
I lived in the ghetto of St. Lucia, where people were murdered across the street and we heard the gunshots.  I've lived in the dirt, in the trash, with people who could be called "unloveable''.  It wasn't fun for me, it wasn't easy.   It's easy to want to go back to the states, get married live a ''good Christian life'', raise ''good Christian kids.''   How do I do what I know I'm supposed to do?   The only answer I can come up with, and one I find echoed in The Irresistible Revolution, is to love.
If you love someone you're willing to do anything for them.  I have to love God in order to love that Romans verse.
My human love is not strong enough for that.  I pray that God gives me more of His love.

Thursday, November 29, 2012

A whole post about truth.

This might take the form of a rant of sorts so I apologize in advance.

Last night when we were at the bible study I sat there looking around asking myself,

“What am I doing here?” The truth of the matter is I shouldn’t be here; I’m the last person who should be in mission. The truth is that I don’t like being a missionary; I don’t like having to give up my school schedule to help people. I don’t like having a shower that’s just a pipe in a wall. I don’t like living without some comforts. The truth is I complain and I get disagreeable when these things happen.

The truth is I get mad at God for asking me to do things like this. The truth is some days I just want to ignore him. The truth is my life gets messed up.

A missionary should be perfect right? They should be a saint, a shining example of Jesus Christ.

That’s not me. A missionary should pray every single day and read the Bible for hours on end right? Well I don’t do that, I try, but some days I forget to pray, some days I don’t want to pray.

But the truth is also that I am here in the Philippines. And I am a missionary at this time in my life. So there must be an answer to my question.

“What am I doing here?”

Something interesting happened last night at the Bible study. The building that we go to is called the Barangay Hall, behind and around it are the houses of people who live in this Barangay, which are basically different sections of land where people live. As we are white we stick out A LOT here in the Philippines. So of course some people came out to watch us just because of that fact, but by the time the meeting started they had gone back inside their house. Soon it got dark and we started the meeting with singing. And I saw someone creep out of the house and hide behind a tree to watch us. But this person, I think it was a woman, wasn’t standing in a place where she could see us Americans very well. She could hear us though. I saw in her not a curiosity of white people, but of what we were doing here.

Who are these white people who sing?

I don’t know the full answer to the question, “Why am I here.” But I have an idea, and I have a story. The story is about my family, who according to a lot of people are crazy. We have ten children, we moved from our home, our farm, our family and our job to live with the poor in the Philippines.

They sing these white people with guitars. They dance with us, these white people. They act like fools and they don’t mind. These white people, they tell us of a man who says He loves us. These white people. They are different.

I’m going to start to tell my stories; every week at least I’m going to plan on finding a story. Not because you need to hear them, but because I need to remind myself why I’m here.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Pictures of the Philippines

Mass at the monastery
Monastery bells.
Alvarez's porch

Stairs at the Alvarez's House                                Bible Study night

Street outside the house
More at the monastery.

Isla Bonita

More later!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

I post!

Isaiah 49:1 Listen to me, you islands; hear this, you distant nations: Before I was born the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name. 

We are here in the Philippines!  It still seems kinda crazy that I'm on the other side of the world. As of yet I don't have very many pictures or stories, but those will come soon. The weather here is really nice, and the people are so friendly and excited to see us. And the food is good too. ;)

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Tommy Philips

Time to introduce you to another character from my nano novel The PianoMan.  Meet Tommy Philips.  He's easy going, fun to be with, always making jokes, and all around good guy.  He's done some acting before, but mostly he just hangs around with Stephan and helps his friend write scripts.
Then Jamie comes, and he sees that she can use some extra help.   He becomes someone whom Jamie can talk to, someone whom she feels she can be normal around.
At first I didn't really like him as much as Stephan and Jamie, but in the last few days he's really been a help to me.  I'm getting in a lot of scenes with him and Jamie, and then him and Stephan. He's a perfect middle man.  Which is unfortunate since he's in love with Jamie. I feel sorry for him, but it can't be helped.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Snippets of Nano

Hey peoples!  Yes nano has made me disappear for awhile, sorry about that.  But here I am, here to tell you that my writing is going...okay.  I won't say great because I've been stuck a lot.  I knew Historical Fiction was going to be harder, because when you're stuck in Fantasy all you have to do to get ''un-stuck'' is through in monsters, or ninjas or something like that. :)   So it's been going okay, I'm to 13k and I should be at 15k.  At least its only day 9. ;)   And  I love my characters, Jamie is amazing and I need to do more scenes with her acting.  Stephan is...well he's a bit of a jerk but that's only because he can only think about himself and his movies.  Tommy is a darling, his heart is going to be broken, I'm sorry Tommy.

Before I leave again here is a snippet of chapter 1.

Chapter 1

He sat morosely playing the piano, his black suit spotless and without wrinkle, his beautifully sculptured hands moving along the black and white keys with perfect grace. The scene was a pleasant one, on top of the black piano was a lamp, under the man’s feet was a Persian rug. The cottage house was quite, the keeper of the house; an old woman in her early sixties rocked in her chair with cat on her lap and knitting in her hands, she smiled at the sounds coming out of the piano.

The man had a dreamy look in his honey brown eyes; he had a touch of a smile on his face. He was a handsome man, with a dark melancholy face, high eyebrows, chiseled nose, and a mouth that endeared one to it; he was in his early thirties but he looked not older than twenty.

The music stopped abruptly, the man pulled out a cigarette and lit it, then began where he left off.

“That’s a nice tune dear, what is it?” The woman asked, her voice pure British English.

He sighed and said, “Oh just a jingle I made up.” He was clearly American.

“Well it’s still nice.”

The man glanced over at her with a smile, she was a silly old thing, but he didn’t mind her, she was after all his great aunt. He didn’t know her very well, only seen her once or twice at family gatherings, but he was a busy man so he paid little attention to old Aunt Jemina who knitted and talked in a high pitched voice and lived in the English country side of Dalwood.

Why had he left America? For the last twenty years of his life he had been working, first as an actor and now mostly as a director, he composed music, wrote plays and scripts, and was even working on a novel. The fact was he was tired. He was tired of the people, he was tired of the movies, he was tired of the paparazzi, he was just tired. One day in his office when every page of his novel was wrong, and all his actors idiots, he decided to leave. And leave he did, the next morning he bought a ticket to Dalwood, Devonshire England. He arrived on the door step of his aunt’s cottage with no warning and even less baggage. But she was happy to have him, and he soon bought more clothes. He had been in England for three days.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

The Man Himself

Actor, song writer, director, fame and money he has it all.  This is my main character in The PianoMan.
His name is Stephan Lewis.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Idea change

So...I kinda changed my idea for Nano.  Today I was thinking of a number of things, the movie "Holiday" among them, and a new plot invited itself into my head. 
My novel is going to be called, The PianoMan.  It seems like I've heard that title before, but it won't leave and the novel won't name itself anything else.    I have no character names, save Aunt Jemina who is a minor character, only characters.
The man: He's been acting since he was 10, now he's 30 and famous and tired.  He goes to visit his aunt in the English country side and meets a girl.
His nickname for her is Gypsy, and he knows she can be one the greatest actress if only she wanted to be. He also knows she can make him a lot of money.
She will agree to play in his newest movie, she will become famous. She will also be desperately unhappy. And although he doesn't know it yet, he is too.
Riches = Happiness. Not always.

And that's what my novel is about.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Back to Missions we Go!

Today we bought our tickets to fly to the Philippines!  Everyone is dancing with joy. God has blessed with cheap tickets, both to our home state of Oregon and to the Philippines.
It seems almost unreal, we really are flying out into missions again.   We fly to Oregon on Oct 30 and we will be there until Nov 11th.  

Please keep us in your prayers.

Friday, October 5, 2012

November is almost here

Now for those of you who don't know about the madness of Nanowrimo, or are not evolved in it would probably say to that title,

"No it's not! October just got here."

Well yes that's strictly true, technically there is 26 days till November 1st.

But for us Nanowrimo people, it's preparation time for the 31 days of noveling ahead of us.


Nanowrimo is a contest were you are challenged to write 50,000 words of a novel in 31 days. I first did this when I was 13 and loved it, I've done it every year since. Last year I won at 50848, and I hope to win again this year. Although I will probably be overseas at the time.

My novel this year is not planned out at all (but then again I never plan) and I'm kinda nervous.

It's working title is The Art of Tattoo because the main character is covered in tattoos, and they tell a story about her life. Her name is River, she's a fighter, she has dreadlocks.

The other day I came across this quote: Pain is stronger than life, stronger than death, love, loyalty, duty. ~Essad Bey And I think that's what River's life is like now.

In the nano land we have two types of writers, the planners and the pansters. The planners outline, do character sheets, and have a lot of the plot worked out. Pansters maybe have some plot maybe none, maybe have some characters maybe not. I am a panster. :D I go in with a couple of characters, a bit of a plot and I go from there. This year I hope I have more than I have right now, I just don't know how I'm going to get there. River and I will probably have some talks. ;)

Nanowrimo is amazing fun and if you're a writer looking to write a novel, check this out!


Wednesday, September 26, 2012

It's fall now!

Fall is my favorite time of year.  I love the changing colors, the crisp air.   Just thinking about wrapping up in a blanket with some tea and a book makes me happy. :) Fall just makes me feel so giddy and excited. 
Hopefully this week I will get to take some pictures.


Sunday, September 23, 2012

Days like these

On days like these I love being a writer. I can feel the word writer pulsing through my veins. On days like these everything goes well.  Inspiration comes, characters behave, plots flow and I feel alive.   On a day like this I go back to the novels I've put on hold because of writer's block and I write them.

Ah I love days such as this.

Friday, September 14, 2012


Here are some pictures of my day today, babysitting some of the kids!  
Watching Veggie Tales

It's easy to watch them when they are all busy with a movie. ;)

Trying to get the baby to smile.

God bless your day,

Saturday, September 1, 2012


I don't usually post many pictures so I'm trying to take and post more.  Today being the first Saturday of the month we have community work day.  So after morning prayers we get together and are given different jobs around Big Woods.  These pictures are of Mom and the little kids, the blond ones are all our kids. ;)
 The best way to help little people work is to turn into a game!
 Because of the storm we had we have tons of branches everywhere, the job of the kids was to pick them up and put them into piles.
It was fun to watch them, they were so cute. :D

They had to see who picked up the most the fastest.

I tried to get a picture of our house but I didn't quite get all of it. :)

Good job!
I hope everyone has a great day!

Saturday, August 25, 2012


Graciously hear us, Lord for we seek only YOU.  You are near to those whose heart is right. Open yourself to accept our sorrowful spirit; calm our bodies and minds with the peace which surpasses understanding.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Beautiful People August

This month I'm going to use another character from "King, Hunter and Outlaw".

Fox (This isn't the best picture of Fox and he never wears clothes like that, but it's the face that counts. ;)
Here is a how he is described in one chapter,
"Dashing good-looks with black hair and sparkling brown eyes that seemed to melt when he smiled" 

Fox is a card player, a thief and many other things, but deep at heart he's a good fellow. He's actually one of my favorite characters to write in "King, Hunter and Outlaw"

1. What's his favorite past time?
Probably playing and cheating at cards, when he was a noble he loved to hunt and ride horses.

2. What's his favorite weapon?
A double edged sword.

3. How is his family life?
At the moment horrible, his father gambled away all their wealth leaving four sons penniless. His older brother has some mental problems, his younger brother is rude and resentful and on top of that he's stuck with two assassins claiming to be his cousins.  Fox is a little sick of family at the moment, though he would give his life for one of his brothers.

4. Any nicknames?
Actually Fox is his nickname, his real name is Trent but because of the tricks he's been up to people started to call him "Fox".

5. Does he have any friends?
Not really, he's much to busy to spend time with people.  When he does have time he comes off as an arrogant jerk.

6. What's his favorite time of day?
Night, when the taverns are open.

7. How does he meet up with Gleam?
Playing cards of course! ;) He cheated and Gleam knew it, she got the cards back.

8. What's one thing he never leaves home without?
His brothers, even if he has to drag them out by their ears.

9. Does he like to read?
Nope.  Even when he lived in luxury he never had time for that.

10. What's his secret wish?
To have his land and property back again so he can live in peace.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Birthday Pics

For my 17th birthday I let my mom plan my party. And I'm glad she did!  My grandma sent me a beautiful white glass tea set and my mother invited all the missionary ladies over for a tea party.

We had such a fun time sitting and drinking tea and talking about everything under the sun. 

My two best friends came from town also.

The tea was so good! I was missing my chai tea.

The tea table looked so pretty. :) 

 See? Cute huh. ;) 
 We had an abundance of food, I probably ate too much. ;) 
It was the best birthday ever! 

Thanks to my lovely mom and sisters who helped set everything up! 


Monday, August 13, 2012


This week I celebrated my 17th birthday.  I had a wonderful day with friends and family.  The day after my birthday (the 10th) is my sister Rebecca's birthday.  She turned 4.  :)  I'll be posting again with some pictures. 

Wednesday, August 1, 2012


I found this quote at this blog and couldn't resist sharing it. :)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson

Friday, July 27, 2012


Every human person is dawn to beauty. A night sky can thrill, as can an exquisite orchid, a Mozart concerto, or a lovely face...The more gifted among us are so vibrantly alive that even created splendors touch them deeply. Because their receptive capacities to be enriched by and responsive to reality are deep, they grow to a maturity far beyond the usual.  They live life to the hilt and themselves become works of art.

~The Evidential Power of Beauty by Thomas Dubay


Hey y'all just dropping in to say check this giveaway out! 

Monday, July 23, 2012


One of the mission houses just before rain.
 I admit Louisiana isn't the beauty I'm used to and love, but it is beautiful. Today, and last night, I was caught up in the wonder of how beautiful the world around me is. It's something that people should never forget.   Our world is BEAUTIFUL! And praise God for that.

God Bless,

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Home Again

And I'm back, Faith Camp was as good as last year, but different. I learned a lot, but I didn't come away with an emotional high. A lot of things happened that I want to reflect on. I know God was there at Faith Camp, and I saw some of the people He changed.  I'm so very glad and blessed that I was apart of it, and I hope to go again next year.
I am going to try and find pictures to post. ;)

God Bless you all!!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Let the insanity begin!

This week starts work week, which is when all the staff for Faith Camp get together to make Faith Camp happen.  We paint murals, get the games ready, and the coordinates get the plan for the next week all shiny. :D Please pray for me, and for all on staff this week that we would prepare our hearts to be the leaders God's want.

God Bless!

Thursday, July 5, 2012

Beautiful People (July)

This is my first time doing Beautiful People!  So yeah I'm choosing to do Gleam my character from "King, Hunter and Outlaw".
1.What is your character's name?
She goes by Gleam, but that's not her real name.  Her real name is Asti.

2. Does she have any siblings?
Yes, she has one sister, but at this point neither have seen each other for many years.

3. Who is her best friend?
Djmas, right now she doesn't realize how much she leans and depends on him. But I would definitely say Djmas is her best friend.

4. What's her favorite time of day?
Sunset, right before bed. With the golden and red colors coming through the trees.

5. What's her favorite weapon?
Her bow, because her friend Zeryn taught her. But she can handle other weapons, a sword, staff and ax.

6. What color is her hair?
Brown just ordinary brown.

7. What color are her eyes?
Green almost a jade color.

8. What's one thing she never leaves home without?
Besides her bow? Her red scarf, it was given to her by dying comrade in Greatland.

9. Does she read?
Yes, as a one time noble she reads and writes well.

10. Any hobbies?
At one time she liked to garden, but now she doesn't have time for that.

There ya go! My first try. :D  It was kinda hard to come up with questions, but it was super fun.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Faith Camp 2012

Its almost that time of year again, Faith Camp time!   For those of you who don't know Faith Camp is a summer camp put on by FMC.  Here is a link: http://bestweekofyourlife.com/Best_Week_Of_Your_Life/Home.html
Here is my story waaay back from 2010 http://veritasspelndor.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-story.html 
Faith Camp changed my life and this year I get a chance to serve the kids who are going there.  I am signed up to be a Cabin Leader.  I am a little nervous about this, because I'm not an outgoing person, and I will have to start cabin time discussions and other such things.  But I know that with God's help I will be the leader He is calling me to be.
So yup, this is going to be the next two weeks of my life.

God Bless,

4th of July

Just popping in to say Happy Independence Day!!

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

What I'm Writing (June)

One of the many things I'm working on this month is called "King, Hunter and Outlaw", so as I promised I'm going to tell y'all about it. For those of you who don't know me I am not a plotter. I get an idea and I just start writing it. So saying that I must confess I don't have a plot at this moment, I just have my characters. But I can introduce you to them.

Gleam: We don't know much about her, save that she fought in the Greatland wars and she has a loyal band of freemen. Gleam loves her people and country, when she came back from the war she saw the people mistreated and abused. After saving ran-away serf Will from prison on death she becomes an outlaw and vows to do something to help her people.

Will: He ran away from his master at the urgings of his mother, after being saved by Gleam and her gang Will begs them to help him find his brother Dan.

Fox: After being tricked into working with the rebels Fox is forced to murder the king, but all Fox wants is to be left alone. He meets Gleam in an inn and she catches him cheating at cards, and something about Gleam interests him.
Llew: This man is an outcast of society, people spit on him, people hate him. And he hates them too. Llew will do anything to be in a position of respect, and that does mean anything.

Canterbury: She is 19, she moves from her home to marry the King, even though he already has a wife. She wants to marry him because her father's throne was usurped, and her father is dying. She says that all she wants is her father to die in peace. But maybe she wants more than that.

There ya got! Those are the main characters


This is my 2 year old brother Isaac. He loved nerf guns, Toy Story and Veggie Tales.  He talks all the time.
And he's super cute!

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Of Head coverings, Writing, Vegetarians and Life

Well I'll do things backward from the post title. =)

Life: Summer is on in full heat here in Louisiana! My siblings are enjoying not doing school and playing outside most of the day.  As for myself I don't really like the heat so I stay inside. ;) No actually the main reason I'm inside a lot is because I'm working on graduating from High School. Go me!   So far so good, with God's help I'll be done soon, the tentative time is 9 months.

Vegetarians: After much thought and contemplation, I have decided to become a Vegetarian. Why? Well because I just don't like eating meat. Its really quite a simple reason. ;)  Actually this information is sadly very late, I've been doing this for almost 2 months.  Its really hard in my family, you never know how much meat you eat until you don't eat it. If that makes sense. Anywho, at home I don't eat meat, but usually when I go out I end up eating some, just because there isn't enough salad! 

Writing: This month has been a crazy writing month! It started out slow, then I decided to do Camp Nanowrimo, which for those who don't know is like Nanowrimo were you write 50,000 words in a month.  I was having fun with that, working on my book, "King, Hunter and Outlaw" (which reminds me I should do a writing post) and then my writing world exploded.  Suddenly I found myself doing a short story contest, co-writing a book with a friend and beta-reading two books.  Needless to say my writing world is very crazy right now and I have a feeling I'll fail Camp Nano. :(    But there's always August too. ;)

Head coverings: I've never been a veil wearing type of girl, but after getting a whole bunch of scarves I found that they are actually quite useful in the hair.  If you fold them up and tie them in your hair not only do they look super cute but they also keep hair out of your face.  Officially I'm in love with them.
yes this is me. :D 

God Bless!

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Soul Prayer

God our Savior,
Hear our morning prayer:
Help us to follow the light
And live in the truth.
In YOU we have been born again
as sons and daughters of light:
may we be your witnesses before ALL the world.

This prayers was in our daily Liturgy of the Hours and I wanted to share it. :)

Sunday, June 3, 2012


Who I want to be:

Daughter of god. 

Servant of the Poor





Daughter to my parents 



I've been thinking about this a lot,  as you can tell from the posts lately. And I was thinking about how often I fail in my duties, how often I fail to be all I want to be, and God has called me to be.   I want this list to be written on my heart, something that I wake up in the morning in my mind, and something that I go to sleep remembering how I succeeded and failed and how I will do better the next day. 
Never forget who you are and who God as made you. He has wonderful plans in store for those who follow him. 
Remember Who made you, and who loves you. 

Blessings to you all my wonderful followers. 

Saturday, June 2, 2012


This is what I want to be:


For every man there is a purpose which he sets up for his life and which he pursues. Let yours be the doing of all good deeds.


Thursday, May 31, 2012

Soul Words

Soul Words.

Words in out heart, in our mind. Making up who we are.

They are who we are, all we have to do is learn how to hear them.

Speaking, singing to us, gently.

Never giving up, coming back, coming back.

Like waves on the shore.

Who am I? What am I mean't to do in this life?   What are my Soul Words?   What is written on my heart to do?

Thursday, May 24, 2012

A Meaning

Today I read this lovely post, and decided to do one like it.  My name is Abigail, but its rare that I actually call myself that, usually I go by "Abi".  But my name has a lovely meaning:
"Father's Joy"    The meaning of my name is special to me because I take it not only am I a joy to my father on earth, I am also a joy to my Father in heaven.  To please both fathers is something I have to and want to strive for each and ever day.

Sunday, May 20, 2012


"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?"  Mary Oliver

Today I found this quote and I loved it. It makes me think so many things, words and thoughts and idea I wish I could write down and share.  But they don't make sense right now, which brings me to this quote: 

"Do what you love. Know your own bone; gnaw at it, bury it, unearth it, and gnaw it still." 


Beautiful aren't they?   Let us all ponder them...

P.S the background for the text keeps doing that to me, and I don't understand how to fix it. It's driving me cray. Sorry about it. :P 

Thursday, May 10, 2012

The thing about Math

Yikes.  I really don't like math, I'm a words person, I write I don't do numbers... Apparently when I was a little girl, like 5, and learning to count my mother would use little muti-colored bears and count and point,
"One, two, three..."    But I would go right behind her and name each one,
"Fred, Jane, Mary.."     My mother despaired of ever teaching me to count.   :D
Now while that story is funny, the why I deal with math is not, at least to me.   It's quite horrible to look at at math problem and have your brain freeze. Freeze as in I can't think at all!   Math makes me want to sob and cry and tear my hair out.    And then something happened, as I am sadly lacking in math credits my mother found this website for me to use. Its called Khan Academy.  You get to make goals for yourself, it logs your hours for you, its pretty darned cool.   All of the sudden its not so painful to do math.  Its still hard, I still don't like it, but I don't hate it.

Let's just hope things stay this way as the math gets harder. ;)

Have a blessed day!

Wednesday, May 9, 2012


This is my second post about Enya I think....*goes to check*
Yup, one post already and very short.  :)   Amazingly enough I almost completely forgot about her music. Until today, I went on Spotify and looked her up again.  *Sigh*  I love Enya's music.  Its so, soothing, and her voice...Sometimes its deep and sometimes its high, but always beautiful. Its amazing that some singers can reach both low and high notes like that.
I'll leave y'all with this song:


In the Quite

In the quite place, that's where I long to be. 
(Edit) Sorry about the color thing going on there...not sure how to fix it.  Have a blessed day!

Here are some quotes about silence, that I found and like. :)  
True silence is the rest of the mind; it is to the spirit what sleep is to the body, nourishment and refreshment.  ~William Penn

Silence is the true friend that never betrays.  ~Confucius
Soon silence will have passed into legend.  Man has turned his back on silence.  Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation... tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego.  His anxiety subsides.  His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation.  ~Jean Arp

I have often lamented that we cannot close our ears with as much ease as we can our eyes.  ~Richard Steele
Everybody should have his personal sounds to listen for - sounds that will make him exhilarated and alive or quite and calm.... One of the greatest sounds of them all - and to me it is a sound - is utter, complete silence.  ~Andre Kostelanetz

In the attitude of silence the soul finds the path in an clearer light, and what is elusive and deceptive resolves itself into crystal clearness.  Our life is a long and arduous quest after Truth.  ~Mahatma Gandhi

Silence is a fence around wisdom.  ~German Proverb

You hesitate to stab me with a word, and know not - silence is the sharper sword.  ~Samuel Johnson

Silence is medication for sorrow.  ~Arab Proverb

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Stateside Mission

A week ago today my father, and three of my siblings, and I came back from Joplin MO. We went there to lead a work mission trip.  Six students from New York came down to help work on some projects. I wasn't very excited about going on this trip, I would have much rather stay at home with the rest of my family. But God did amazing things on that trip.  Every night I went to bed sore and aching, and every morning I woke with renewed strength. I made some wonderful friends, and watched the group turn into MISSIONARIES.  Its amazing how close people become when working selflessly side by side for the furthering of the Kingdom.   Being back on the mission field changed my heart. It's amazing how much God has to do that for us. And yet He never stops.
I'm very excited to go on more mission trips this year. :)

God Bless!

Sunday, March 25, 2012


This past week I was able to see some of my friends that I haven't seen for a couple weeks, and the question is always, "So! What have you been doing?"  
Me: "Um...school."  
Yes my life is pretty boring, but I really don't mind.  I am content. I wake up in the morning get straight on to school, stop to eat and then go back to it. And I don't stop till my mom makes me.  Its not that my school is very interesting, it is, but I like just being at home and doing school, being with my siblings and cleaning, reading and writing.    Sometimes  I have to go out sometimes, i.e Tuesdays for Youth Group, Wednesday for Mission Formation, and other stuff that comes out.   But I find it so funny and strange at the same time that I am just content to be home.   God must be giving me a gift.   If I wasn't content I would be going crazy. :D 

Have a great week,

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Owl City

I just found out that Owl City was in a band called Swimming with Dolphins.  I <3 this band.   This fact made my day. :)

Have a wonderful day!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

More Poems

Emily Dickinson

Death is a dialogue between
The spirit and the dust.
"Dissolve," says Death.  The Spirit, "Sir,
I have another trust."

Death doubts it, argues from the ground.
The Spirit turns away,
Just laying off, for evidence,
An overcoat of clay.

I forgot how much I love poetry. :) 

Have a great week!


Saturday, March 10, 2012


William Shakespeare
Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments. Love is not love 
Which alters when it alterations finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the start to every wandering bark,
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks,
Within his bending sickle's compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom,
     If this be error and upon me proved,
     I never writ, nor no man loved. 

You gotta love poetry. ;) 


Thursday, March 8, 2012

Sink or Fly

Sink or Fly
You can only go up or down. 
Warning this post will not make much sense. :) 

I've been thinking about life, school, the future a lot.  I guess that's nothing new, I do that all the time. Don't we all?  I can do lots of things, some will pull me down, some will make me fly.   People drag you down, people make you soar.
Maybe I'm saying this because I'm feeling a little bittersweet. Can some one feel bittersweet?  Content not really happy and slightly sad.  I'm content because life is fine, I'm doing well in school. But slightly sad because I miss my home, my real home in Oregon.
What does life really mean to people?  Isn't that an interesting question? I think it is. I would like to just think about that questions for years.
This isn't making much sense, but its one of those days when you have to write, even though you can't think clearly about what you are going to write.  So I wrote.

I hope everyone has a happy day,


Sunday, March 4, 2012

God likes little people.

This week God has really been teaching me that he loves little people, and he cares about little things in our lives.  One night our cord for our laptop stopped working, we would plug it in but it wouldn't charge. Needless to say we were all upset, the thought of having to get a new cord was in our minds. Suddenly Peter, (age 12) says, "Hey guys let's pray over the cord."  All of the little kids agreed and soon all ten of us are laying  hands on the cord.  My sister Ellie, simply asks God to heal our cord, we plug it in and it works.  All of us began to praise the Lord.  A cord is such a little thing, but God answered our prayers.
All of us have dreams of being something big, a famous novelist, a singer.  God wants us to be the best we can, but he also loves us as the little people we are.  A 16 year old, sister, daughter, and missionary. I am nobody to most of the people in the world. But I am someone in God's eyes. To him I'm His daughter, His lover, His little missionary.
I'm so thankful for God's love and mercy!

Blessings this Sunday,

Friday, February 24, 2012


This is part of a great song that I stumbled upon a couple days ago by LIGHTS.  I just wanted to post some of it and have people think about it.  God's love blows my mind, I hope it blows your mind to. :) 

The night is deafening
when the silence is listening
and I'm down on my knees 
and I know that something is missing 
because the back of my mind is holding things I'm relying in 
but I choose to ignore it because I'm always denying them 

I'm a bit of a manic when it's not as I plan it 
'cause I start losing my head then I get up in a panic
Remember, when we were kids and always knew when to quit it 
Are we denying a crisis or are we scared of admitting it?

I don't want to know

I just wanna run to you
and break off the chains
and throw them away
I just wanna be so much
and shake off the dust 
that turn me to rust
Sooner than later, I'll need a saviour
I need a saviour 


Thursday, February 23, 2012

Prayer for today

Here is a great prayer to start the day our, its from the LOTH.

May everything we do begin with your inspiration, continue with your help, and reach perfection under your guidance.  We ask this through our Lord Jesus Christ, your Son, who lives and reigns with you and the Holy Spirit, one God forever and ever. 


God bless you all!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Ash Wednesday

"Remember that you are Dust and onto Dust shall you return. "

Have a Blessed Lent,

Saturday, February 18, 2012

Can't Take it In

 This is one of my favorite songs right now. 

Can't close my eyes
They're wide awake
Every hair on my body
has got a thing for this place
Oh empty my heart
I've got to make room for this feeling
so much bigger than me

It couldn't be any more beautiful - I can't take it in.

Weightless in love...unravelling
For all that's to come
and all that's ever been
We're back to the board
with every shade under the sun
Let's make it a good one

It couldn't be any more beautiful  I can't take it in 

It couldn't be any more beautiful  I can't take it in.

All that I wanted. All that I ever needed.
All that I wonder. So beautiful.

Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Happy Valentines Day.

Happy Valentines day to everyone! Sorry its late, but I have been crazy busy, (like normal huh?)  Monday I went to a girl's study, which was about, guess what, Love. No kidding.  :) It was a great talk and I got to meet a handful of beautiful Catholic girls, who really blessed me.  Then Tuesday I had youth group. Now I'm in the middle of getting ready to help out at a Valentines dace.  Go me!
You would think a girl who is a missionary would be really outgoing right? Not me. I hate to talk to people I don't know, calling people on the phone terrifies me, but here I go, off to be a waitress for the night.  That's something I have to work on...anyhow I hope everyone has a blessed day.


Sunday, February 12, 2012

New Name

I changed the name of my blog.  For a few reasons:
1. I didn't really like, "A Missionary Journal".  It just didn't sound like I wanted it to be.
2. It didn't sound like me. The new title does.
3. I am changing, my life is changing.  :)


: the quality or state of being whimsical or fanciful whimsy>
: a fanciful or fantastic device, object, or creation especially in writing or art






I love whimsical things. <3