The L Word part 1

What does it mean to be in love with God? What is love?  When I said at the beginning of Lent that I wanted to fall in love again, did I realize the statement I was making?  These are questions I have been musing over for a couple of days.
I think I'll take the answers slowly.

First of all I think the answer to the third question: When I said at the beginning of Lent that I wanted to fall in love again, did I realize the statement I was making?  is yes and no.  People who know me, know that I've encountered the love of God in a powerful way.  For those that don't know...Well the short version is I was lost and then I was found.  The summer of 2010 I fell in love with God for the first time. Since then it's been a journey, with good times and bad times. Which is why I wanted to make the commitment to love again.  Again I can't remember the exact Bible verse, but it says something about remembering your first love.  And that's what I want to do.  Go back to my first love, and go deeper.
One of the missionaries was giving an example of the love of God, and our love for him. She talked about God's love (and our love for him) being like a mighty river.  And first you just dip your toes in His river. Then he calls you out a little deeper, and then a little deeper. Each time we go deeper, we learn something new, something more, something deeper about Him.

I think the first and second question go to together: What is love?  In the world today hear all about love.  Love is fuzzy feelings, butterflies, sex, pleasure, the want of someone.  But what is true love?  Catholic and Christians tell us that love is sacrificing what I want for what someone else wants.  Okay, well that makes sense for people. But how does this apply to me and God?  As I sat thinking about this it hit that the answer is really scary.
Giving up what I want for what God wants. If I really mean that I want to love God in that way, that means I have to be willing to change everything for Him.  Everything that I want, everything I would like to do. The college I want to go to, the person I want to marry, everything.

This brings me to the second question: What does it mean to be in love with God?
There's another great song that I love that talks about this like climbing a mountain with hands wide open.
Isaiah 2:3 talks about climbing the Lord's mountain, to receive teaching from the Lord.  And if we think about climbing a mountain, you need your hands!  In this song we have a striking image of not using our hands to climb the mountain.  Our relationship with God is complex.  On one hand we have to climb the mountain ourselves, because of free will God will not force us.  And then on the other hand we have to let God be in control of our climbing, He must help our hands.
This is true love of God, that in serving and worshiping Him we let him guide us.  And the only way to do this is through constant prayer.

I would like to continue to talk about these questions, and the answers, throughout Lent.  As always I pray for you, as I hope you pray for me.

To Be Continued.

Lauds Reading for March 13

1st Kings 8:51-53a

We are your people and your inheritance. Thus may your eyes be open to the petition of your servant and to the petition of your people Israel. Hear us whenever we call upon you, because you have set us apart among all the peoples of the earth for your inheritance. 

The Real Meaning of Lent

I think I am a like to almost all Catholics kids when it comes to Lent.  Growing up I practically hated Lent. I mean, what's fun about having to stop eating chocolate for 40 days? Or not getting to watch movies during the week?
Growing up I missed the point of Lent, and it's just now really hitting me.   In our morning prayers this week my dad said something to the effect of: "Lent is a time to clean up the clutter in your soul."  That blew my mind.  Maybe it was the way it was worded, or maybe I haven't really been listening at mass till now, but...Wow.  That is what Lent is supposed to be.

Focusing on this new definition all we have to do is rethink our past ideas of Lent, and we...I begin to realize that Lent should really be one of the best times of the year.
All the fasting, the ashes, the long holy week, all of this has a point!   St. Ambrose says that "All men are slaves to sin."   Just looking at my life day to day I can see where I have sinned in thought, word and deed. Each day we sin!  It's no wonder that God chose to have a special season in our Church to help us get right with them.


Praying that you all have an amazing lent.

This Lent I'm Falling in LOVE Again

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.  These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.  Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.  Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.  Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.


This has always been one of my favorite passages in the old testament, and I'm not sure if I can put it into words why.
There is obvious joy in the writer's heart. The one who wrote this was excited.
"Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up."   Don't stop talking about Him!
I'm a fan of quite a few British TV shows, I have no problem talking about one or the other, whenever. Sure some people think I'm obsessed and really geeky, but I don't care. I like the TV show. 
Am I the same when I talk/think about my saviour?

Wednesday started the season of Lent in the Catholic Church.   For about a week before my family and I spent time trying to decide what to give up for Lent.  And although I do have things I am giving up, I think this Lent, for me, is going to be a time of my obsession with God.
There is a psalm, what number it is I can't remember, but it says "He is my love, my fortress."
He is my love.

One of my favorite songs is by United Pursuit and it's called "Help Me Find My Own Flame."
I love this song because it's about taking the love of God for our own, and not letting it be "dry bones."

This Lent I'm falling in love again.  Please pray for me as I do so.

This is a long post I know, but I want to leave you with the link to the song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ShlmvA4-bgM 

Newsletter

Dear Friends and Family,

The past months have been busy and blessed. January found me moving to Mexico. I started the month by helping to lead a short term trip in Mexico. We helped build roofs, visited the homebound and sick and worshiped together. It really has given me a greater fire for missionary evangelism. The next few weeks myself and the team I was sent with continued to the do pretty much the same things, settling into our house and ministries. The priest at our local parish is an amazing man of God, and he had a lot of ideas that correlated with ours.

Then at the end of the month I started to feel that I needed some more spiritual formation. As a missionary in Mexico I was going to be in a position of leadership, and I don’t feel ready for this. Now this month, February I am back in my home state of Oregon. Here I hope to get involved in the local ministries while seeking a spiritual director.

I will also be studying to become a midwife. This is something I have been hoping to do for many years and now God has blessed me with the time and ability to do so. I am excited to use this skill in my future missionary work, both stateside and abroad.

This year holds so much and so I’ve taken Psalm 27 as my meditation for the year.

“My heart says of you, "Seek his face!" Your face, LORD, I will seek. 9 Do not hide your face from me, do not turn your servant away in anger; you have been my helper. Do not reject me or forsake me, O God my Savior. 10 Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. 11 Teach me your way, O LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 12 Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, breathing out violence. 13 I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 14 Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.”

Thank you for all of your prayers and support!

Abi

Week One: Mexico Mission!

The first week of Mexico has been so blessed.  We had a short term trip with us.  And what I great way to start out the mission! With a renewing of fire and love for Evangelization and the poor.  
During one of my daily prayer times I asked the Lord to give me a verse for my year of missions.  He gave me Psalm 27.   This Psalm is beautiful and speaks to me of no matter what trials come my way, each day I will live for God’s Kingdom.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

   whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—

   of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked advance against me

   to devour me,

it is my enemies and my foes

   who will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me,

   my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me,

   even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask from the Lord,

   this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

   all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the Lord

   and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble

   he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent

   and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted

   above the enemies who surround me;

at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;

   I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, Lord;

   be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

   Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me,

   do not turn your servant away in anger;

   you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me,

   God my Savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me,

   the Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way, Lord;

   lead me in a straight path

   because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,

   for false witnesses rise up against me,

   spouting malicious accusations.

I remain confident of this:

   I will see the goodness of the Lord

   in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

   be strong and take heart

   and wait for the Lord.

Annnnnddddd...

I can now announce where I'm being sent for my first year as a single missionary!

General Cepeda Mexico! 

I am so blessed to be sent with two families and two other ladies.  The Quinn Family, the Martin Family, Megan and Madi.

Ecuador Trip 2

I first watched the movie The Lord of the Rings when I was 10 years old. I'm now almost 18 and I've seen the trilogy more times than I can count; needless to say I'm a huge fan.    At the very end of The Return of the King when Frodo starts to narrate again, talking about how they leave Gondor and head back to Hobbitton I always get a lump in my throat. I can't help but say, "No, stay, don't go back. Just stay." 
As I left Quito, heading to the airport, to fly back home I was telling myself the same thing.
"No, stay, don't go back. Just stay."  God worked in wonderful ways on the trip and I didn't want to leave.
Leading up to the trip I prayed that those on the trip would have open hearts and minds. God answered that prayer 100%.    I came into the trip only know one of the teens, but even in that one week of getting to know them, I saw so much change.   I saw their hearts open to the children we played with, and the adults we talked and prayed over.  I saw their minds open to the great task of missions.  I was so blessed.
One of the main things I love about Ecuador is how hard we have to work to go to small communities.  One day we hike hours to a community, and once we get there we usually start a game of soccer with the kids. It's exhausting but so rewarding. Your legs ache, but as you sing and hold the hand of a small child you know it's worth it.
I was also just so blessed to be back in missions.  I wake up each morning and I know my goal. Sometimes, when I'm back stateside, it's easy to get sidetracked. In missions everything you do is for Him.
Another thing is being surrounded by likeminded people. Not only are you going through a life changing journey, but so are the 20 or so other people with you. And it's so amazing to see them change, to hear their testimonies of God's grace and serve along side them.
Missions is not just me going to another country and teaching people about God. It's also God teaching me through them.  This reminds me of a verse from Sirach: "As you have used us to show them your holiness, so now use them to show us your glory."

Praise God!

Singing at a community

 

Ryan and Matthew (our full time missionaries)  with two of the girls on the trip

Quito 

Singing

 Dirty after a long hike

 

 

 

God is Good

God is amazingly good to me! The past few weeks have been crazy.  My family has been away from the Philippines for almost three months now, we traveled from the Philippines to our home state of Oregon. There I graduated from High School and traveled back down to Big Woods.  From Big Woods I flew to Ecuador where I spent two weeks helping to lead a mission trip.  It was so amazing! My second favorite country is now Ecuador.  I fell in love with the people, and the beautiful jungle. It was so good to be back in missions serving and preaching.  I will be leading another trip in July.   

Another wonderful thing that happened was I got accepted to this years Intake! 

Every year starting in September, Family Missions Company (FMC) trains new missionaries to go out to the world.  I will be apart of that this year.  I ask for everyone to please please pray for me. That I would have an open heart and mind to be taught. And that God would just shower graces upon me and those joining me in this blessed work. Also pray that I get enough money to pay the training fees. 

I hope and pray that God shows how good he is to you this week!

Update

Today we remember the trial and death of Jesus, who came to earth to die for all of us, for those who know Him today and those who may never know Him.  That thought boggles my mind.  As a Catholic I've always known that he died for my sins, but for the past few weeks I've been reflecting on the fact that he also died for the sins of people who may never know He lived.   It was this thought, and the sadness I felt knowing that people in this world are living and dying without knowing of His mighty love and mercy, that has set a fire in my heart to continue missions apart from my family.
August of this year I'm going to turn 18, and I know there are many options for me to pursue. For about 4 years now I've wanted to get my certification to be a practicing midwife, this is something still on my heart but it doesn't seem as important now.
Many of my friends are going on to college, but that too doesn't seem as important.  What seems most important living a life, and preaching a gospel that will save souls, all with the help of Christ.
So a couple days ago I gave my application to be a full time missionary with FMC. (fmcmissions.com)
My missionary training, called Intake, starts in September.  I ask everyone to pray for me as I prepare for training.

We are called to Love

For the past two days I have been reading this book called The Irresistible Revolution.  And then this morning in our Liturgy of the hours we read Romans 12:13-21.  It's something that I've read many many many times before, and it's always been like:
"Yeah, it's a nice reading." And then I forget about it.      But today, it spoke to me an a whole new level. Here's what it says.

 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.  Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.  Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.  Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody.  If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.  On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."  Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

And this reading struck me because this is what we are called to do. Share with those in need. Live in harmony with one another.  It's so easy, and I am guilty of this myself, to simply believe it's just something to read and then forget.  But Paul wrote this to the Romans, telling them this is the way they had to live.   If they had to live it? Why don't we?   

I lived in the ghetto of St. Lucia, where people were murdered across the street and we heard the gunshots.  I've lived in the dirt, in the trash, with people who could be called "unloveable''.  It wasn't fun for me, it wasn't easy.   It's easy to want to go back to the states, get married live a ''good Christian life'', raise ''good Christian kids.''   How do I do what I know I'm supposed to do?   The only answer I can come up with, and one I find echoed in The Irresistible Revolution, is to love.

If you love someone you're willing to do anything for them.  I have to love God in order to love that Romans verse.

My human love is not strong enough for that.  I pray that God gives me more of His love.

Days like these

On days like these I love being a writer. I can feel the word writer pulsing through my veins. On days like these everything goes well.  Inspiration comes, characters behave, plots flow and I feel alive.   On a day like this I go back to the novels I've put on hold because of writer's block and I write them.

Ah I love days such as this.

Birthday Pics

For my 17th birthday I let my mom plan my party. And I'm glad she did!  My grandma sent me a beautiful white glass tea set and my mother invited all the missionary ladies over for a tea party.

We had such a fun time sitting and drinking tea and talking about everything under the sun. 

My two best friends came from town also.

The tea was so good! I was missing my chai tea.

The tea table looked so pretty. :) 

 See? Cute huh. ;) 

 We had an abundance of food, I probably ate too much. ;) 

It was the best birthday ever! 

Thanks to my lovely mom and sisters who helped set everything up! 

Abi

Quote

I found this quote at this blog and couldn't resist sharing it. :)

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

~Marianne Williamson

Giveaway!

Hey y'all just dropping in to say check this giveaway out! 

Beautiful

One of the mission houses just before rain.

 I admit Louisiana isn't the beauty I'm used to and love, but it is beautiful. Today, and last night, I was caught up in the wonder of how beautiful the world around me is. It's something that people should never forget.   Our world is BEAUTIFUL! And praise God for that.

God Bless,

Abi 

Faith Camp 2012

Its almost that time of year again, Faith Camp time!   For those of you who don't know Faith Camp is a summer camp put on by FMC.  Here is a link: http://bestweekofyourlife.com/Best_Week_Of_Your_Life/Home.html
Here is my story waaay back from 2010 http://veritasspelndor.blogspot.com/2010/07/my-story.html 
Faith Camp changed my life and this year I get a chance to serve the kids who are going there.  I am signed up to be a Cabin Leader.  I am a little nervous about this, because I'm not an outgoing person, and I will have to start cabin time discussions and other such things.  But I know that with God's help I will be the leader He is calling me to be.
So yup, this is going to be the next two weeks of my life.


God Bless,
Abi

Isaac

This is my 2 year old brother Isaac. He loved nerf guns, Toy Story and Veggie Tales.  He talks all the time.
And he's super cute!

This

This is what I want to be:

Enya

This is my second post about Enya I think....*goes to check*
Yup, one post already and very short.  :)   Amazingly enough I almost completely forgot about her music. Until today, I went on Spotify and looked her up again.  *Sigh*  I love Enya's music.  Its so, soothing, and her voice...Sometimes its deep and sometimes its high, but always beautiful. Its amazing that some singers can reach both low and high notes like that.
I'll leave y'all with this song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Py9ArY2sq04