The L Word part 1

What does it mean to be in love with God? What is love?  When I said at the beginning of Lent that I wanted to fall in love again, did I realize the statement I was making?  These are questions I have been musing over for a couple of days.
I think I'll take the answers slowly.

First of all I think the answer to the third question: When I said at the beginning of Lent that I wanted to fall in love again, did I realize the statement I was making?  is yes and no.  People who know me, know that I've encountered the love of God in a powerful way.  For those that don't know...Well the short version is I was lost and then I was found.  The summer of 2010 I fell in love with God for the first time. Since then it's been a journey, with good times and bad times. Which is why I wanted to make the commitment to love again.  Again I can't remember the exact Bible verse, but it says something about remembering your first love.  And that's what I want to do.  Go back to my first love, and go deeper.
One of the missionaries was giving an example of the love of God, and our love for him. She talked about God's love (and our love for him) being like a mighty river.  And first you just dip your toes in His river. Then he calls you out a little deeper, and then a little deeper. Each time we go deeper, we learn something new, something more, something deeper about Him.

I think the first and second question go to together: What is love?  In the world today hear all about love.  Love is fuzzy feelings, butterflies, sex, pleasure, the want of someone.  But what is true love?  Catholic and Christians tell us that love is sacrificing what I want for what someone else wants.  Okay, well that makes sense for people. But how does this apply to me and God?  As I sat thinking about this it hit that the answer is really scary.
Giving up what I want for what God wants. If I really mean that I want to love God in that way, that means I have to be willing to change everything for Him.  Everything that I want, everything I would like to do. The college I want to go to, the person I want to marry, everything.

This brings me to the second question: What does it mean to be in love with God?
There's another great song that I love that talks about this like climbing a mountain with hands wide open.
Isaiah 2:3 talks about climbing the Lord's mountain, to receive teaching from the Lord.  And if we think about climbing a mountain, you need your hands!  In this song we have a striking image of not using our hands to climb the mountain.  Our relationship with God is complex.  On one hand we have to climb the mountain ourselves, because of free will God will not force us.  And then on the other hand we have to let God be in control of our climbing, He must help our hands.
This is true love of God, that in serving and worshiping Him we let him guide us.  And the only way to do this is through constant prayer.

I would like to continue to talk about these questions, and the answers, throughout Lent.  As always I pray for you, as I hope you pray for me.

To Be Continued.

Week One: Mexico Mission!

The first week of Mexico has been so blessed.  We had a short term trip with us.  And what I great way to start out the mission! With a renewing of fire and love for Evangelization and the poor.  
During one of my daily prayer times I asked the Lord to give me a verse for my year of missions.  He gave me Psalm 27.   This Psalm is beautiful and speaks to me of no matter what trials come my way, each day I will live for God’s Kingdom.

The Lord is my light and my salvation—

   whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life—

   of whom shall I be afraid?

When the wicked advance against me

   to devour me,

it is my enemies and my foes

   who will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me,

   my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me,

   even then I will be confident.

One thing I ask from the Lord,

   this only do I seek:

that I may dwell in the house of the Lord

   all the days of my life,

to gaze on the beauty of the Lord

   and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble

   he will keep me safe in his dwelling;

he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent

   and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted

   above the enemies who surround me;

at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;

   I will sing and make music to the Lord.

Hear my voice when I call, Lord;

   be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, “Seek his face!”

   Your face, Lord, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me,

   do not turn your servant away in anger;

   you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me,

   God my Savior.

Though my father and mother forsake me,

   the Lord will receive me.

Teach me your way, Lord;

   lead me in a straight path

   because of my oppressors.

Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes,

   for false witnesses rise up against me,

   spouting malicious accusations.

I remain confident of this:

   I will see the goodness of the Lord

   in the land of the living.

Wait for the Lord;

   be strong and take heart

   and wait for the Lord.

Annnnnddddd...

I can now announce where I'm being sent for my first year as a single missionary!

General Cepeda Mexico! 

I am so blessed to be sent with two families and two other ladies.  The Quinn Family, the Martin Family, Megan and Madi.

Make My Heart Like Yours

There is a little less than a month till Intake starts. I'll admit I'm nervous. I'm an introvert and I'm afraid I'll shy away from my fellow missionaries-in-training. I'm nervous about being the youngest girl, I'm afraid I will just try to ''keep quite and keep out of the way".  In the midst of my worrying God has been showing me that it will all be okay.

Psalm 55:22
Cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall.

What I need to work on now, and for the rest of my life, is to make my heart like His. People are not my favorite.  They are noisy, talking all the time, they have different ideas than I do, sometimes even a small group of friends intimidate me. Me, is my space, and I don't want a ton of people tramping in it. Dwelling on this I've asked God why He's called me to be a missionary.

Ezekiel 36:26

And I will give you a new heart, and a new spirit I will put within you. And I will remove the heart of stone from your flesh and give you a heart of flesh.

 

I, by myself, can not be a missionary. By myself I will fail. I will see people and freeze, not knowing what to say or what to do. Only with God can I work to be strong enough.  He can nudge me towards a group of people.  Only with God can I be the crazy person who smiles at everyone, even stopping to talk to people on the street. 

This change can only happen if I give my heart to God and ask Him to make it like His.